Scars

Growing up I played soccer. It was, and still is, my favorite sport. I remember a specific season where I had this scab that formed from hitting my knee on something. It seemed like every game I played the newly formed scab would get knocked off. I still have the mark from this repetitive injury and healing cycle I went through for what seemed like forever.

I think this story is the perfect picture of what healing after miscarriage looks like.

A question my friend recently asked me was, "do you ever think you can have complete healing from grief here on earth?"

It didn't take me any time at all to give my answer. Loss and grief never go away. Like my soccer wound, they can heal to only be knocked off again. New skin forms over the pain and brokenness life has dealt you. You seem to be moving towards complete healing, and then all of the sudden you're back at square one.

These scars are what make our story. They remind us of the pain we endured. They allow us to relate with one another. Most of all, they never go away.

When I look at my life right now, I am often still overwhelmed with hurt when I see the void of losing two children. My hope is that through sharing these stories I have encouraged you if you have also experienced miscarriage. With that encouragement, I would be doing you an injustice not to recognize the pain that you have also experienced or are experiencing right now.

I want you to realize that even after time passes, it is still hard for me to carry the weight of loss. You are not alone if you feel stuck in a rut. I think healing can also come from hearing "me too" when you feel like everyone else has moved on with life.

So with all this being said, no, I don't believe we will ever be healed here on earth, but "the pain that you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming." Romans 8:18

If you feel overpowered by grief even when you thought you were beginning to finally start to living again, you are not alone. Please reach out here if you need support from someone who has been there, who is there right now.